Monday, October 27, 2008

Can we just skip tomorrow?

I have totally worked myself into a frenzy. My first ultrasound is Wednesday afternoon. I have convinced myself that we aren't going to see anything. My symptoms have diminished - hardly any nausea, less twinges and pings in my uterus. Boobs are still hurting - but not as horribly, either. And, yes, I know that not everyone has symptoms, and they change from day to day, blah blah blah. But I feel different than a week ago.

I pretty much laid on the couch all weekend and did nothing. Just slept and watched horrible movies. I'm totally depressed. Of course, my close friends and family have been through this with me before, so they aren't so ready to jump on the, "it's going to be just fine" bandwagon. I think they think the worst, too. And Big B doesn't want to even entertain the idea, let alone talk about it.
I am dreading tomorrow's appointment. I don't want to go. I've been bursting into tears at random, and can just imagine what tomorrow will bring. Big B says to imagine the best case scenario, not the worst. I wish I could.

8 comments:

Trace said...

Good vibes coming your way!

Shelli said...

I've been there so many times. (hugs)

Thinking good thoughts for you.

Happy Not-So-Newlywed said...

Girl- I totally hear you. My first u/s is today and I'm freaking out too. I don't feel nauseas at all today which is totally freaking me out.

I'll pray for you and you pray for me!!! Good luck today.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Gaah--it's the afternoon and I've been thinking about you. Update when you get back. I'm sending good thoughts.

Martha said...

Thinking of you, just checking in.

Kristin (kekis) said...

Just checking in for an update. I also know all too well how those u/s appointments don't bring about feelings of hope and excitement. They bring about all sorts of fear, anxiety, and even dread. I'm hoping you received some good news, but if you didn't, know that I'm here for you anyway.

Leslie Laine said...

Keep us posted!! Very exciting!! :)

Cindy Nguyen said...

Hope it went well for you today.