Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Are your ears burning?

So, yesterday morning, my co-worker walks into my office and shuts the door.

Uh - oh. Somethin' big must be going down for door-shuttin' time.

She whispers to me, "I was talking with vendorX, and she said that she was talking to another guy here at work who told her that you were pregnant."

Are you following? So, a vendor is told by someone else that works for my company (but in a different department) that I'm pregnant. She, in turn, passes along said intel to another person in my company (in my same department), who then comes to me.

The good news is the person who came to me already knew. She's the one person in my office I confided in. And whom I completely trust would never ever spill the beans to anyone.

The bad news is that after just two weeks of seeing the ever-elusive double pink line, my "secret" is somehow common knowledge being passed about by practical strangers! At the coffee stand: "Would you like non-fat or soy with your latte?" "Soy. Oh, and have you heard that the woman in marketing is pregnant?"

I mean, for a vendor, whom I hardly ever work with, to casually chat about it to one of my co-workers? This means the guy who told her must not think anything about spreading "the news"around willy-nilly - and that no "top secret" code was given to him when someone decide to bless him with gossip fodder.

I was so pissed. There was definitely some steam coming out of my ears.

How Did This Happen? We hardly know that we're pregnant...we haven't even seen/heard the heartbeat. Plus my FE said we didn't need a 3rd Beta. So, as exciting as the news is, its not something we're casually passing around as common knowledge until at least the second trimester which isn't until December.

I went directly to the source - the guy who spilled the beans.

Me: Hey, guess what I heard? I heard from Suzy that she heard from Sally that you told her I was pregnant!
Him: Oh, really? I said that? I don't remember saying that.
Me: She definitely said she heard it from you.
Him: I didn't even know you were pregnant!!
Me: Then why did she say she heard it from you?
Him: Well...I think I was speculating that you were.
Me: Speculating? I know I've gained some weight in the past six months...
Him: No! I never look at things like that. I just knew you and Big B were trying and I speculated that you were.
Me: Well...can you NOT speculate any more? This isn't information that we're sharing with people. We just found out ourselves and with everything that has happened over the years we need to wait until we're good and ready.
Him: Oh, yeah. I won't talk about it anymore. I won't even tell my wife.

Speculating? You speculate that your stocks are going to go up. You speculate that dinosaurs existed. You speculate that gossiping about your co-worker is going to get you into some hot poo poo.

Let's just take this little soap opera a little further. I happen to have another friend whom I've bragged about in other posts. She's awesome and I'm lucky to have her as a friend. I also work with her. And her husband. They know all about me and Big B. Probably more than they ever wanted to know. They swore up and down that they wouldn't share our news with anyone. Me thinks her dear hubby went over to said blabbermouths house (they happen to be friends), had a few brewskis while playing X.Box, and let the lips loose. So, I had to have a little chat with her, too. Talk about damage control.

The biggest thing I worry about, is that everyone at work finds out, including my boss. And if something does go wrong with the pregnancy, I have to face everyone, all day, every day.

Am I over reacting?


Anonymous said...

That is seriously shitty. It's something to expect from people who have never experienced infertility and therefore have no idea how scared you are and why you arn't shouting it from the rooftops. It's none of their damn business.


tripmom827 said...

I just think it totally stinks that the power to tell who you want when you want was taken away from you if only a little bit. I think anyone with a brain who has gone through a pregnancy should know that the first 12 weeks are a little precarious. Hopefully this will be the end of it, though.

BTW, congratulations and best wishes for a h&h 9 months!

Sarah said...

No you arent over reacting! Thats no ones business to share but yours and your husbands! The nerve of some people.

Ronda's Rants said...

I am sorry..that stinks! I am not sure I would talk about it anymore...because the circle will just keep getting bigger and you will at some point have to confirm or deny...exactly what you didn't want! Again, I am sorry!

Martha said...

I am so sorry about this added stress. I don't think you are overreacting, completely understandable.

Michelle said...

No you are definitely not over reacting. That is your news to share period! Even if you wanted everyone to know right now that she be told by you and only you. I hate big mouths. People need to mind their own business!

Michelle said...

Congratulations by the way!

Kymberli said...

No way are you overreacting. Since when is what is or isn't going on in someone's uterus water cooler conversation, especially when that someone hasn't even discussed it openly herself? Rudeness.

At any rate, congratulations to you, and thanks for the cookie recipe! We're definitely going to try that one out!

'Murgdan' said...

Hell no you're not over-reacting! I'd be pissed...and I'd have had a much more colorful conversation with 'guy' and 'vendor'...gossipy hens.

...and here I was just thinking how happy I am to have started a new job where no one even knows I ever TTC at all. *sigh*

April said...

why do people think that this is general conversation? that drives me crazy.

Faith said...

Good grief -- this news should be yours to share! I'm so sorry . . . thanks for stopping by our blog, though. I look forward to following your journey.

RMCarter said...

NO, you are NOT overreacting! This is your news and you have waited long enough to have it! You deserve to share it on YOUR terms!

I'd be pretty steamed if I were you. I hope you find the source and set them straight!!!


Collette said...

I don't think you are over reacting. A similar situation happened in my office. A girl on a different team (same dept.) found out her fiance was moving to Salt Lake and then got married the next day. Half the office knew her news before she announced it. I felt so bad for her.

Pregnancy is not something to gossip about. The horrible shoes your boss wore to work last week is something to gossip about. Hopefully your news doesn't spread any further.

By the way, thanks for the comment! My husband handles the pumpkin designs at our house. ICLW

Rebecca said...

Everyone at my offices knew when I was going through my IVF cycles so everyone know the minute I got pregnant. I just can't keep my mouth shut. They feel my pain and they feel my happiness.

BTW, Congrats!!! Hopefully soon you'll be feeling as exhausted as I do.

Dawn's Recipes / The Baby Blog said...

Hell, you're not over-reacting! People need to learn to mind their own damn business! Hopefully your damage control was effective.

Kristine said...

No, you aren't over reacting.

I always thought I'd want to tell everyone when I finally got pregnant. Ended up I didn't want anyone to know. Like you I just didn't want to have to "untell" if something went wrong.

And even if you do want to tell it's pretty unfair for someone to do it for you! That's your news!