Sunday, October 19, 2008

I hope everyone has a friend like this

Last night we went to a surprise bday party for my friend's husband. We didn't know too many people, but it was still fun. This girlfriend, "C", is my only close friend who has gone through fertility treatments. She even miscarried about the same time as I did - but she went through a partial molar pregnancy with trophoblastic disease, which has to be the absolute most horrible thing ever. Talk about rubbing salt into a wound. But "C" has been so great about everything. She's the one who is happy for me, even when I can't be happy (yet) for myself. She always asks how I'm feeling, and responds, "that's how I felt with my first!" There's something very comforting in someone believing in your pregnancy, despite all the caution. She also knows those cautions and still has joy for you. It's hard to explain, but there's a difference between "stupid clueless joy" (not having any idea what you've gone through or what the risks and complications of fertility treatments are at 38!) vs. "been there done that but I still have hope and joy for you." 

So few people actually know that this thing worked (at least for the moment) and that I'm walking around pregnant, worried sick that I'm doing or have done something to ruin it, or that it's disappeared and I wont see anything on the ultrasound in two weeks. Those who do know, know better than to be ecstatic yet, and so are kind of waiting in silence - just like me. For this one person to be happy for me, and have joy, and be positive despite it all. And, I know, that if it, God forbid, doesn't happen to turn out like I hope and dream, she'll still be there for me. Okay, there's tears all over my laptop. I better stop before I shortcircuit something. 


Courtney said...

I have a few friends that have gone through treatments/IVF so I have some that do totally understand. And they do root for me! Which is awesome to have someone totally understand the whole ups and downs of this process. Congrats- didn't know you were preg!! Thats awesome! And yes the study GIVES me all the FOllistim and Ganirleix!! I am SOOO excited to save that much money!! Trust me I know we are saving a ton!! My poor hubby sold his "toys" (race car and 4 wheeler) to pay for us to go to the RE! Now I really feel bad!!

April said...

Thanks for this post. It was nice to hear of someone else who knew about molar pregnancy and trophoblastic disease. Most of the time I get blank stares when I have to talk about it b/c it is so rare, people don't know.

xoxo, a