Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Let Me Introduce Myself

I'm borrowing this intro idea from Liddy over at The Unfair Struggle. I don't know if I've ever truly introduced myself on my blog, so, here goes nothin'!

My name is Kandi. Well, it's not really Kandi. That was my nickname until I went to college. At that point I deducted that Kandi would really only be a good name if I was choosing a profession in porn, stripping, or prostitution*. And, since my college offered none of those degrees, I would have to make a switch to the full name, Esmerelda. Just kidding. It's Kandace. My family and friends from high school still call me Kandi. No one else gets to. Except for blog readers. Because, heck, anyone who takes the time to listen to me bitch and complain about my struggles with life and infertility can call me whatever-the-hell-they-want (except Whiney Bitch, please). As long as they keep listening.

Which leads me to my story of struggling with infertility. Apparently, I never clued-in to the fact that as women get older, they produce less and less eggs, and the ones they produce aren't quite as "fresh" as might be required for baby making. I only thought my chances of having a baby with some sort of genetic problem would increase. So, I followed my dreams and chased that corporate ladder and glass ceiling - having a blast the whole time. I wasted most of my twenties with a guy who swore he would never get married or have kids (which both have happened in the past year for him), and moved from coast to coast (twice) by myself having fun as only a single girl can.

Finally, beginning to hear the faint rumblings of my internal Big Ben, I moved back to my home city when I was 33. Found Mr Right (or Big B as I like to call him) when I was 34, got married when I was 35 and started TTC when I was 36. Just in time, right? Naaaaaa. My eggs were already dusty and crusty.

After six months of stupid ovulation charts and temperates (and NEVER seeing an ovulation), we went through every imaginable test and straight to IUIs - 5 of them. 4 failing, and one sticking only to miscarry in my 10th week. After that, on to a second mortgage and IVF. The first one apparently worked as we got our betas back just two weeks ago. We're trying to remain calm until our first US next week.

As for me, I love to bake cakes for friends and co-workers. And cooking in gereral. And I love photography - I even have a somewhat ironic side biz taking baby, children and sr photos. I have strong faith in God and try to incorporate that into every area of my life (Jesus drank wine, right? And swore from time to time?). And, apparently, I like to write.

Whew. That was a lot. If you stuck through the whole post you get a Gold Star.

*please note that if your name is Kandi, Candy, Candi, or Kandy, don't get mad at me for my connotation of our shared name. It just wasn't for me. I couldn't pull it off. PLUS my maiden name happened to be a slang word for "puke." I got tired of hearing, "I ate so much Kandi I xxxxed !" Not a good way to spend your school days.


Saja said...

So, is your last name "Tossedmycookies"?

blankshooting said...

visiting from that's my answer and just wanted to say that is so true about the name kandi, candy, candee, candie etc and being associated with strippers ... wonder what profession it was associated with before stripping came into vogue?

Just Me. said...

Hi, am returning your comment. I feel that we're pretty similiar and not. Well, you have PCOS, I have endo, uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts and polyps. Lovely combo huh?

I was doing regional marketing for a great international cosmetics conglomerate and loved every minute of it, despite the bitchiness. I found myself in a completely new territory when I was told that I had such and such because when I first suspected that something wasn't right, our fertility specialist told us that we were both ok.

I read that you're pg now. I think the first time you find out you're pg, you get really happy and excited. Then, the next wave of worry just settles in and you wait and wait for your betas and then you wait and wait for your next scan and the next. Then, you depend on the movements in your tummy and if you don't, you start to wonder, if everything's ok. So, I totally get you when you said it's a horrible wait.

I have no assvice for you. Just know that from an infertile pregnant lady, I totally get you and will be praying that you'll pull this through.

ps I'll be coming back to see how your first scan goes. Oh, I pray to St Gerard a lot too. I'm the worst possible Catholic ever, with the cussing and not, but I think infertility has brought me back to church.


sorry for the rambling.

Dora said...

Okay, now I really want to know your maiden name.


Vanessa said...

Congrats on the betas! I'll be checking back to see how the us goes :0) sending great vibes your way!

Btw im from ICLW thanks for the comment on my blog!

Mama Bear said...

hey!! thanks for the intro! you seem hilarous! can't wait to read more of your blog!

CTagsGirl said...

Thanks for the super funny intro...Esmerelda??! :)

I first have to comment on your previous post about people butting in where they really have NO right to...your feelings were completely justified! When we found out we were expecting again, it was like the more people that knew, the more likely the pregnancy was to be "jinxed." Probably really silly, I know. Glad you took the initiative to confront the a-hole that was so flippant about such important news.

I'll be checking-back for an update on the US. Thinking of you.


Photogrl said...

First of all, congrats on the two lines!

Stopping by from ICLW...but I'll be back to see how it's going for you!

Caba said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog. Sorry I made your cry, hope you didn't screw up your computer with the tears ... 8-)

And congrats on your BFP. I had a very hard time sharing the news of ours with anyone. I was so afraid that hte more people I told, the most people I would have to "un-tell" if something went wrong. I wish I had been able to relax and enjoy it more!

I'll be reading along!

Kristine said...


And I'm guessing "Ralph?"

Great intro!

Shelby said...

Hi there! I am happy to come on here and read some good news right away. Congrats on your lovely BFP and thanks for stopping by. The intro is a great idea!

kirke said...

I loved your intro...and was so glad that there was some happiness involved because I was invested after the first paragraph :)


WiseGuy said...

Hi 'Kandi', thx for stopping by my blog. There is so much more about my body that I became aware of after I started my babydance!

Shelli said...

Wonderful to meet you! and thanks for stopping by my blog. Sending a lot of luck your way, and will be following you (love the humor)!

Andrea said...

Congrats on your BFP! Happy & healthy nine months to you!

Thankd to the many suggestions from ICLWers, I finally figured out how to get a 3rd column on my blog! This is the easiest website I found to use:


Teal Marie Chimblo said...

I stuck with you and I'll be back:-) A sense of humor will get you everywhere.ICLW

Thanks for visiting me! Soup is the best!

Seriously? - Erin said...

Hi here from ICLW, but I have been here before...

Anyway, I loved the get to know you post. I didn't know all those details before.

I also love photography. I have worked as an assistant to my wedding photographer. One of the pics from my wedding is the opener on his website. I used to do kid portraits when I was in college...

Chelle said...

Thank you for your nice comment on my blog! I needed support that day, thank you.

I like your disclaimer at the bottom! That made me laugh out loud.

Congrats on the betas! Fingers crossed for the u/s!

April said...

thanks for the review :)

fyi: when i was little i always named my barbies 'candy cane'
ha ha

Liddy said...

Great introduction, glad you could use it!

Sending you positive thoughts and hugs.


cjsayers77 said...

What a journey!!! I wish you all the best! Look forward to reading more of your blog!


Andrea said...

I am cracking up over your Jesus drank wine comment! I completely agree :) Good luck with your IVF!


Andrea said...

I am cracking up over your Jesus drank wine comment! I completely agree :) Good luck with your IVF!


cjsayers77 said...

It's very nice to meet you Kandi!!!!


Trish said...

Good luck Kandi - with your pregnancy and that first u/s is so exciting.

Here from IComLeavWe... (adoption,pregnancy loss, IVF twins)
My Little Drummer Boys