Saturday, September 27, 2008

The little Yellow pill that Wouldn't

This morning, according to the incredibly detailed plan for our transfer, I was to insert a little yellow pill of prometrium up into my nether regions at exactly two hours before the transfer. Done. So, I'm wandering around my house in my bathrobe, drinking the five million gallons of water prescribed, when what to my wondering eyes do appear, but that same damn yellow pill laying on the floor in the living room! I blinked, twice even, but it was still there, right next to our puppy's slimy chew toy. Just sitting there, like a brightly colored egg on Easter morning, waiting to be found. What the hell? I picked it up, walked back to the bathroom, and double-checked the prescription bottle. Yep. Just a quantity of one. So, because I am incredible good at deduction, I surmised that said yellow pill had in fact fallen out of my cooter at some point. I was dumbfounded. How does that happen? 

Now - do I wash it off and reinsert? Better not...water is likely to make it disintegrate. So, I just blew on it (10 second rule extended to yellow pill) and rubbed off the dust and doggie hairs, and resumed the position to reinsert. Done. But, this time, I decided to rest a bit on the bed. Make sure it stays in the appropriate area. After five minutes, I feel the thing making its way back out. Again! Whaaaaa? It was having nothing to do with my vagina. No wonder I can't make a baby - I can't even interest a little yellow pill in sticking around for five minutes!

After pushing it back in for the third time (this time with extra oomph and passion), I think it stayed. We made our way to the clinic, and got the report on our four little survivors. Turns out two of them made it to 8/9 cell stage and got a perfect grade, the other two were only to 6, and the prognosis for them was less than stellar. So, we got a picture of the two lucky ones (in color!). I can totally see that the bigger/more advanced one takes after me: totally has to be the over achiever, and definitely looks good in fuchsia. Some kids have ultrasound pictures to look at. We have them at the 8/9 cell stage. And they look good.

They transferred the two, and they'll keep an eye on the other two to see if they catch up. Now, I'm totally sitting on my bum, watching reruns of House, and reading a million blogs. Hey, if you read mine, I'll read yours. Keep the candles burnin'. Lots of prayers are needed in the next week and a half.

8 comments:

Kristin (kekis) said...

Please forgive me for lmao! The whole blowing off the dog hair refers to everything in our house. :) I'm proud of your overachievers. Now stick!!

Trace said...

Sending good vibes your way!!

Courtney said...

Sending some sticky dust for those little cells to stick in their new home where they can stay for the next 9 months!! I havent ever had my little yellow pill pop back out- but they are messy!! But I would have done the same!

areyoukiddingme said...

How hilarious...now if the baby has some extra hair and a startling tendency to bark, you know why...

Patricia said...

Via la Creme...

I'll admit, I skipped ahead to a current post and am heppy to find that The Pill That Wouldn't evidently did it's job.

Congratulations and thanks for sharing with Creme.

battynurse said...

Very funny. glad it finally stayed where it was supposed to.

Denver Laura said...

I read this a few days ago from teh creme list and then thought of it again as I'm at work today... doing my middle of the day progesterone um... application. I'm not sure should I would be so brave if I had dropped it on the bathroom floor at work. This is a memorable post - thanks for sharing it :)

Clio said...

this was very funny! thank you for directing me to this past post.
I needed the laugh. :)