Thursday, February 28, 2008

Probably Not

This is the worst emotional roller coaster I've ever experienced. Last night I held on tight to those five little words the nurse uttered: "it looks okay to me." I thought, "Yes! Everything is gonna work out! I worried for nothing."

Fast forward to this morning. The nurse called me back and left a wonderful message that the doctor reviewed my file and, in fact, even though the hcg levels are doubling, they aren't high enough for a viable pregnancy. I'm scheduled for an ultrasound on Monday, where they should be able to see if there's anything inside the embryonic sack - or just empty. At this point, almost into my 7th week, they also should be able to detect a heartbeat. But, it sounds like they don't have a lot of hope for either of those situations.

This is all so desperate. And sad. And lonely.

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