Desperately Seeking Skinny

As mentioned afore, I work on a college campus. "Fashion" stares me in the face all day long. Right now, every single girl I see has the on "skinny jeans" with boots. Seeing as I'm desperately fighting the "mom look," I went and got me some skinny jeans.

I didn't really want to spend a caboodle of cash on skinny jeans that don't actually make me look skinny or look young enough to wear them. So, I laid out a whole $11 at JCPen.ney. It's true. They were on clearance and they're kinda cute...till you look around back. There's these big-azzzz, copper-colored brads in the shape of a breast cancer/aids ribbon. I figure I'll just cover that up with one of those cute long-ish cardigan thingy that are all the rage.

So I stuff my oversized self into my skinny-sized jeans and cram on some boots, and hey, what d'ya know, I look like a middle-aged mom desperately trying not to look like a middle-aged mom. Emphasis on the desperate. You see, there's more than the average muffin-top awaiting me at the top of my newly found skinny jeans. It's not even a bagel. More like a whole damn cake...oozing out. I try disguising it with the same sweater that's covering up the cheesy design on my jean pockets which doesn't really work....layers adds more girth.

My intern noticed my skinny jeans right away. "Those are so cute!" She squealed. I know as soon as I turned my back she was texting all her friends "OMG my boss has the CHEESIEST skinny jeans on EVER. And she's got a HUGE muffin top. ROTFL."

One of the AA's took one look at me and mentioned that all I needed was a Harley to make my outfit complete. Hmmmm. Not really what I was going for.

I'm thinking that these skinny jeans sure looked a whole lot better on me when they were all the rage in Jr. High. I should probably heed the sage advice that "if it was in fashion once before in your lifetime, you probably shouldn't wear it again." But I'll probably just get a bigger sweater.

Fashion Not-Nista

....fall is here.

I usually welcome it with open arms. What could be better than big fuzzy sweaters and warm socks? My body type was definitely created with the colder seasons in mind. I've never been a big fan of exposing my skin, I'd rather just cover it up.

This fall, as I'm dragging my warm clothes from under the bed and from the storage room, I'm finding stuff just a little too snug. And these are the clothes I bought last fall because all my others were too tight. Uh oh. I am totally blaming this on all the fertility meds and months of reading deeply into the "no vigorous exercise" and "stay off your feet" attached to one year of nearly back to back treatments. Am I justified? I think so!

So, my clothes don't fit. And I don't want to buy any because I HOPE AND PRAY that I'll be needing to buy maternity clothes pretty damn quick. This leaves me with a few skirts and pants for work that aren't particularly comfy and definitely aren't the cutting edge of fashion.

Have I mentioned that I work on a college campus? I have huge windows in my office where I get to see a daily, day-long parade of 18-22 year-olds flaunting their tiny waistlines and hot off the runway outfits (its an expensive private school - daddy has big pockets). I'm not even sure I can pull off the fashion trends. Like this one:

Does any one else have doubts about ankle boots with skirts? It just seems wrong. Or am I just showing my age? I did have someone ask if my intern was my daughter (whaaaaa? She's 24!!!).