Thursday, January 8, 2009

There's a Stranger in My Bed

There's a stranger in my bed. He takes up a lot of room. He's bulky. He's clumsy. I'd really like to kick him out. His name is Body Bo.ppy (BB for short). Apparently BB is supposed to help me sleep on my side (better for me and little tiny growing thing), but honestly, it is a big fluffy pain in my ever-increasing arse.

The picture on the package shows a preggo lady, all snuggled up and la-la-la-dreamlanding it. Just IN LOVE with her Body Bop. This is not what happens. I spend my nights trying to hoist it over me whilst keeping it under the covers (cuz jimminy its COLD this winter) and manipulating it into some semblence of comfort. Apparently its even better to have TWO of them, and put one on each side of you. I'm thinking that's a whole lot of pillow taking up crucial real estate in my bed. Plus its claustrophobic. And hot. Not to mention a major suppressor of anything in the romantic realm:

"hi you wanna give me a kiss?"
"Umm....where the hell are you?"
"Under this big pile of suffocating and heat inducing fluff."
"where the....what the...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

The whole sleeping on your side thing sucks enough. But throw in a couple of whale-sized pillows and you've got yourself a heckofa challenge for Uniso.m. But then again, take it away and I wake up with back pain that turns me into a crotchety ol' witch. Perhaps in time I'll learn to tame the unweildy cotton behemoths, and BigB will learn to navigate them.


Faith said...

Maybe the Baby Bop and the Baby Bjorn marketing folks have the same same photographer?! Hope you get into a good sleep routine very soon.

Clio said...

that's hilarious! love the tentative romantic dialogue... Good luck finding a comfortable position, I hope you get somewhat used to this big pillow.

areyoukiddingme said...

My husband and I came to a satisfactory arrangement...I snored too loud and he moved to the guest room. Occasionally, I'd stay with him for a while until I had to get up for my first bathroom break, but mostly I was able to spread out and rearrange the pillows however I wanted. He got to sleep in peace.

Mermaid said...

Very funny! I tried that stupid thing one time. I guess I wasn't pregnant enough because I couldn't figure it out. It now sleeps in the closet because it just wasn't comfortable!

Martha said...

I'm with you, I pitched my giganto pillow after a week. I just used some softy pillows to cushion as needed. Funny post, thank you!